From kindergarten to high school, anxious feelings are normal and can be expected, especially at the start of a new school year or during times of transition or change. However, for some children, school anxiety can be excessive and interfere with their ability to make friends, learn, and do well academically.

School anxiety is widespread and can affect any student, irrespective of age or academic performance. Children may be overwhelmed with social interactions, leaving home, or taking exams. Beginning of a new school year shifts in routine can also be stressful as children are expected to stick to a schedule, start going to bed earlier, and initiate homework routines.

As a result of all the emotions or stresses they are experiencing, children and teens may react in many ways depending on their age and stage of development:

• Difficulty paying attention, appearing restless
• Little motivation or concentration on schoolwork or refusing to go to school
• Moodiness, anger, and irritability
• Trouble answering questions in class
• Excessive worries, fears, or panic
• Temper tantrums, throwing, hitting
• Increased defiance or opposition
• Easily feeling hurt and crying
• Sadness or lack of interest
• Withdrawal from friends and family and activities they usually enjoy
• Increased need for affection or reassurance
• Headaches, muscle tension, upset stomach
• Decreased energy, trouble sleeping, and appetite changes
• Increased substance or medication use

Mental health experts have yet to fully grasp the origins of school-related anxiety. Extended periods at home, such as during summer break or due to illness, could lead children to develop anxiety. Additionally, significant stressors like the loss of a family member or relocating to a new residence can trigger anxiety. In certain cases, this anxiety can be tied to specific factors like bullying or negative school experiences. Alternatively, it may manifest more broadly as social or performance-related anxiety.
 
So why does this happen for some students and not others?

Past experiences can lead to some nervousness, but many children have the inherited trait of being cautious and worried in new situations. The brain might think that some form of danger is involved and may kick into the "fight, flight, freeze" response. This response is primarily about self-protection, so parents can do a lot of things to help children deal with worries about school. It may seem that the “tough approach” might be helpful, but it can actually make things worse.

It is important to recognize that the underlying anxiety and stress can impact behaviours, including socialization, and reduce a child’s ability to focus at school and learn. Helping children to cope with the “school jitters” and succeed in school involves patience, conversation, preparation, and understanding. How can parents help children when they worry about school?

Tips for Parents:

• Have an open conversation about the school year and what they find difficult. Listen without judgment and be emotionally available for your child. Answer their questions as best as you can or assist them to problem solve and find answers or solutions on their own.
• Facilitate age-appropriate opportunities for children to make choices, giving them a sense of safety and control. Work on solutions together. Try brainstorming as a family or a group, or one on one with your child. You’ll be surprised at the solutions kids imagine for solving their problems, ones that fit perfectly with their circumstances.
• After school, ask the kids how things are going, but expect the usual “Hmm... fine.” To identify hidden worries, like bullying or socialization issues that are causing distress, use open-ended questions that can’t be answered with yes, no, or fine.
• Encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings, including worries and fears. Respect your child’s worries, even if you believe they are irrational. Reassure your child that many students get nervous before the year begins. Focus on what they did well in the past, how they may have dealt with attending a new school or made a new friend, or had an incredible teacher.
• Encourage positive self-talk in your child. Even when kids are anxious or worried, they can use internal talk, such as:

“It’s okay to be scared,” or “I’ll get through this.”

“Everyone has a bit of nervousness in this class.”

“I was nervous last year, but it went away once I got to school.”

• Help your child learn relaxation techniques like belly breathing, muscle relaxation, and visual imagery.
• You may want to visit the school before classes start. Schools are often open several days early as teachers and staff begin to prepare for classes. See if you can tour the school, find your child’s classroom, and meet some of the staff. By spending a few minutes at the school, your child can envision what their first day will look like. For older students, you may want to get a class schedule and locate the room where each class will be held.
• Look up the school’s website and read through this information together. Read the school’s handbook with your child and discuss the expectations for social distancing, wearing masks, dress code, homework, and other school guidelines.
• Practice walking to school together or walking to the bus stop. Connect with another neighbourhood child and walk to school or play on the school playground to build comfort with this process again.
• Establish school schedules and routines now. Encourage an earlier bedtime routine and focus on getting up earlier in the morning. Quiet reading time and identifying quiet study spaces can also be important as this initiates the need to build in some reading and study times. Put time limits on electronic devices.
• Have a calendar displayed in a prominent place in your home and begin to put in important dates and events. This assists your child in learning how to manage a daytimer.
• Do a refresher with children to review learning and materials from the previous year and identify any gaps in learning. Help them identify additional learning resources, such as guidance counsellors, tutors, or student learning centres. Encourage your child to ask for help if they get “stuck,” which means speaking to parents, teachers, or even other children.

If your child is experiencing school-based anxiety, the above tips can help alleviate some of your child’s fears. This builds a foundation for creating courage and confidence in your child and will give children some lifelong tools for adapting to new situations.

For additional tips on what you can do to reduce your child's fears and anxiety, use the C.A.R.D. (Comfort, Ask, Relax, Distract) System.

Tips for Students:

Starting a new school year is exciting but comes with the first day back to school worries and jitters. Allow yourself time to feel nervous. It is normal to have some worries. Unknowns can feel scary, and our brain is wired to protect us from potential dangers. This protection factor can impact our thoughts, moods, and behaviours. Being prepared to face potential challenges and setbacks is the first step to rise to the challenge. Change is scary but also an opportunity to challenge yourself and grow.

The following tips will help you to get ahead by building skills and new learning to manage those fears and worries.

Facing our Emotions

• Know that it is okay to have feelings and give yourself time to feel and express those emotions in a way that is helpful or comfortable to you. This may mean writing a journal or expressing emotion through art, sports, or other activities that help you feel safe and secure.
• Don’t get caught up in the worst-case scenarios, trying to predict the future and plan for every possible situation. It can be easy to get caught up in our planning and obsess over how we will manage difficult situations. This can feed stress and worry and can make things worse. Trust that your school has people who can help, and ask for help if you need it.
• Have some courage despite your worry or fear for the future. It is normal to experience fears of the unknown. Having courage means deciding not to let fear control your actions and stop you from taking chances. It means using your knowledge and resources to assist you in dealing with your fears and making plans to keep moving forward through the tough times.
• No one can predict the future or control all situations, but you can control how you respond and act. Negative or worried thoughts are normal. Acknowledge those feelings without being hard on yourself and take the opportunity to change them into positives or opportunities. Times of challenge are chances to build close relationships with friends or family and tell yourself, “I am scared, but I will get through this,” are some examples of changing the way we look at situations.
  

Actions you can take

• Talk to people that you are comfortable with and feel you can trust. Having someone to share your feelings and worries with, without shame or blame, is important. These may be friends, teachers, coaches, or a guidance counsellor.
• Adapting to the uncertainty of what to expect at school requires flexibility and an open mind. Remember that change is going to happen and that you are still able to meet the challenge and be successful.
• Have kindness for yourself and others. If you are finding that you or others are on edge, angry, or irritable, it isn’t personal. Take the opportunity to talk it through, apologize, and forgive one another for these emotional or negative reactions. We are all learning as we go.

It is normal to experience worry or fear as you enter the new school year, but embracing it with a plan and an open mind is helpful. Whether you are returning to the classroom, doing school from home, or some combination in between, the experience will be new and different.

Take the time to care for yourself and keep an eye on how you are feeling. Lean on social supports when needed, stick to a routine, and maintain healthy sleep, eating, and exercise patterns to keep yourself feeling well. Make time for enjoyable activities but be sure to follow the health guidelines and keep yourself safe while doing them.

At the end of the day, we are all in this together. We all experience challenges occasionally, and we don’t know what others are going through. Take the time to reach out to others and be sensitive to their experiences and feelings.

Tips for Helping Other Students

Use the five golden rules from jack.org to help you navigate a difficult conversation with someone you think may be struggling.

1. Say what you see – describe the changes you’ve noticed in their behaviour without making judgements or assumptions. Stick to the facts. “You’ve missed class the last couple of days. Is everything okay?”
2. Be there for others and show that you care. You don’t always have to have the answer or the perfect response. Sometimes just knowing someone is there and willing to listen can be enough.
3. Hear them out and be a good listener. Find a good balance between asking questions to understand their perspective and listening to their feelings and responses.
4. Know your role is to listen and set boundaries to protect your own mental health and your relationship. You don’t need to be the person’s therapist or fix their situation, but you can encourage them to talk to a professional.
5. Connect them to resources that can help them continue their healing process. You can’t force someone to go and seek help, but you can provide them with information about where they can go and what they might expect if they reach out.

Reproduced with permission of Family Services Canada’s FSEAP